Articles

Randoms

The Education of Zombies

Jilomes

In “The Zombie Survival Guide”, Max Brooks wrote, “Often a school is your best bet—perhaps not for education but certainly for protection from an undead attack”. Whereas some readers would interpret this as meaning schools are sanctuaries, safe from zombies, I see a different picture. Brook’s assertion is very true, especially with regards to Nigerian tertiary schools. In case of a zombie attack in Nigeria, as a student, you would be very safe, being a zombie among zombies. Continue reading “The Education of Zombies” →

Politics

The Fulani Question: A Tale of the “Left Behinds”

Jilomes

If anyone ventured here to read the rantings of a “tribalist”, I am happy to disappoint such a person. It behoves me first, to state clearly that I do not believe in the superiority of one tribe over another, nor do I ascribe to the fallacy that a tribe can be so inherently evil that no good person can be found in it. Nevertheless, for some time now, the Fulanis have made the news headlines their virtual home, effectively becoming inglorious pains in the longsuffering asses of other Nigerians. Continue reading “The Fulani Question: A Tale of the “Left Behinds”” →

Politics

National Award for Laziness

Jilomes

For many years, self-righteous private sector players have looked down on Nigeria’s civil servants, seeing them as icons of employed joblessness. Hardworking civil servants have suffered for long under this despicable tag. Respite has now come the way of the civil service, as the national assembly has gobbled up all laziness-themed awards for 2016. With outstanding performance in the first quarter, the rest of the year is irrelevant. The “ayes” have it—our reps have won. Continue reading “National Award for Laziness” →

Change, Randoms

Nigeria’s Many McCulloughs

Jilomes

The role of justice is to not only ensure that the guilty pay for their crimes, but to also ensure that the innocent is not wrongly punished. The scales are supposedly perfectly balanced, and manned by impartiality personified. In Nigeria, however, the judicial scales are obviously crooked, and manned by doyens of crookery. An American, Jack McCullough is presently celebrating his freedom, while many Nigerian McCulloughs continue to languish in decrepit jails for crimes they did not commit. Continue reading “Nigeria’s Many McCulloughs” →

NYSC

Memories from Kaduna [2]

Jilomes

In addition to the weekly tests, I decided to tackle the problem of fear by organizing tutorials for maths and physics. The initial plan was to bring all the senior students in Fadan Karshi’s two secondary schools to one location for the tutorial. For this, I requested approval from NYSC to run this community tutorial as a personal CDS (Community Development Service) project Continue reading “Memories from Kaduna [2]” →

NYSC, Travelling

Memories from Kaduna

Jilomes

“You have to redeploy. Find your way back home”. This aptly sums up the reactions of several friends and family members when they heard I was posted to the north. With Boko Haram making the news regularly, only a “fewish” few spoke nicely of Kaduna, and encouraged me to make the best of the service year. Today, certificate in hand, I can look back at one year of my life, and say it was a worthwhile experience. Here are my memoirs from the “Centre of Learning”. Continue reading “Memories from Kaduna” →

Change, Politics

Nigeria’s Best Budget Ever

Jilomes

In the United States, for the last couple of years, the executive and congress have enjoyed recurrent squabbles over the national budget. With a large deficit, and a worrying debt ceiling, the gladiators provide the media with enough drama for public discourse. Here in Nigeria, as fast copiers of the US system, we have just copied the drama, and raised its intensity. With its many twists and tragicomedies, the 2016 budget is obviously the best in Nigeria’s short history. Continue reading “Nigeria’s Best Budget Ever” →

Change, Politics

Evil in the Towers

Jilomes

Developed countries attained their present status by making the best of their human resources, and training them to become productive members of their respective societies. In Nigeria, despite the hubbub about moving from third world to first world status, our human capital development strategy is abysmal. Why else would our ivory towers be bastions of neglect and reprehensible evil? Continue reading “Evil in the Towers” →

Change, Politics

The 7th April Delusion

Jilomes

It is usually said that we are prone to making mistakes or saying the wrong things when we are pressured and feel our backs against hard concrete. When a boss forces one to alter an honest opinion, one can either decide to stand one’s ground, or succumb to the pressure. Whatever choice is made; one thing is clear—times of intense pressure are times when reputations are either made or marred. Continue reading “The 7th April Delusion” →

Politics

F9 in Public Speaking

Jilomes

Nigerian politicians and political office holders are reputed for glaring deficiencies in several basic indices that affect performance, efficiency and emotional intelligence. Whereas some deficiencies can be easily forgiven and remedied, one area of competency (or incompetency) stands out sorely—most politicians lack manners, the ability to know what to say, and how to say it without taking Nigerians for granted. Continue reading “F9 in Public Speaking” →