Category: Randoms

One Emergency Away from Doom

One Emergency Away from Doom

On Friday, 23 November 2018, a seven-storey building under construction in Port Harcourt, the Rivers State capital, collapsed. With conflicting figures being bandied about, one sure point is that there were a lot of persons in that building when it collapsed because that day was a payday for workers and suppliers. As at the time of writing this article, ten days later, many persons, dead or alive are still trapped underneath the rubble.  Continue reading “One Emergency Away from Doom”

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Metele: A Fork in History?

Metele: A Fork in History?

It is no longer news that Nigeria got screwed in the week of 18 November 2018. This article was triggered by a grievous tweet. My country just lost over 100 trained soldiers in one week. That’s enough to upset me.

Continue reading “Metele: A Fork in History?”

The Societal Imperative

The Societal Imperative

While reading The Real Warren Buffet by James O’Loughlin, I encountered the concept of the “institutional imperative” as espoused by Warren Buffet. Contained in one of Buffet’s shareholders’ letter, he defined the concept as “the tendency of executives to mindlessly imitate the behaviour of their peers, no matter how foolish it may be to do so”. Months after reading that particular section, I encountered a scene that made me recall Buffet’s words.  Continue reading “The Societal Imperative”

Something to Think About

Something to Think About

“There is so much that people take for granted”

— Vivienne Westwood

What does it mean to take something for granted? Does it mean to decide something is not worth being bothered about or not even remembering to think about something? A recent chat with a friend made me think about something few persons even bother about—online security.  Continue reading “Something to Think About”

Three Weddings and a Town

Three Weddings and a Town

What do you do when three friends send you invitations to attend their wedding ceremonies holding on the same day? Decide on one to attend, right? What if the three ceremonies are holding in the same town? Would you still play favourites? What if one person was a leader at your undergraduate fellowship (marrying another former fellowship executive), one was your undergraduate classmate (marrying a “classmate” from civil engineering), and the other was a work colleague that served at the same organisation during your national service year? You now see my conundrum when three friends invited me to Ile-Ife, home of my undergraduate alma mater.  Continue reading “Three Weddings and a Town”

S for Sarcasm Unscripted

S for Sarcasm Unscripted

Prologue: The following is a redacted chat between some members of a certain WhatsApp group. The banter is around President Buhari’s candidacy in the 2019 election. I decided to turn the transcript into a blog post. Only members of that group can identify the participants. If the “S” in “Sarcasm” has not already informed you, please be aware the following conversation is intended for humour.

‪Amadi: We have decided not to work on ourselves, hence no single man of competence (integrity and character) to lead the country out of the abyss.

That’s why it is the same set of people that keep recycling.

Imagine Obasanjo of all people running helter-skelter to form alliance so that he’ll continue to gain relevance and call the shots. What does he want to improve by his protege that he could not have done during his 12-year reign?

Bobby: Don’t mind that man jare. We will shock him. We will vote for Buhari to continue to move the country forward.

Out of 200 million people, how can we not have one competent person that will seize power from those tyrants. Buhari at his old age managed to do so and all they do is criticize the poor man.

Charles: You sha won’t blind yourself with this “light” you’re always seeing.

Bobby: 😡😡😡😡Don’t spoil my post with your sarcasm.

I’m serious at the moment please.

Even after transforming Abuja into a mini-London with state-of-the-art train system, your religious and ethnic bias still blinds you to the fact that the old man means business.

You guys never cease to amaze me.

Desmond: Don’t mind these ungrateful Nigerians.

Bobby: It’s until he builds train to the moon you’ll agree he’s working abi?

Desmond: An old man who should be chilling with his great grandchildren brought himself forward to deliver this country out of the abyss, yet some unpatriotic rabble-rousers choose to malign his every move.

Bobby: I wonder o

Desmond: They don’t want to adulate the days of little beginnings😒

Evans: How come I never see these things? 🤔

Bobby: Ethnic and religious bias na

At least, Buhari is still trying. What did Obj do when he was there?

Desmond: As long as you now see, we can forgive you. Go and sin no more

Bobby: Obj is even worse. He did nothing for his hometown (Abeokuta) when he was there. At least Buhari is fighting for grazing land for his kinsmen.

Desmond: $16 billion and no single wire was bought by him.

Bobby: Abi o….

Desmond: We have to appreciate Buhari, the only incorruptible Messiah sent by God to rescue Nigeria from the fraudsters of the last 16 years. The only guy who had to borrow money to buy his presidential form.

Imagine the patriotism! He was willing to risk being in debt just because of his undying love for us. I feel like crying at this point. I’m just overwhelmed by this new enlightenment😥

Sai Buhari! Sai Baba forever…

Charles: I envy you guys with opened veils beholding the wonders of Buhari o

What must I do to be saved?

I really envy you guys

Desmond: Brother, believe in God and you shall make it. Believe in Buhari his chosen Messiah and Nigeria shall be established. Let go of your sinful ways and thoughts. Only behold the beauty that is the righteousness of Buhari.

Come and taste and see that Buhari is good.

Charles: No confession?

Like something to repeat after you?

Desmond: It’s not about repetition. It’s in you. Once you come into the manifestation of the light, you would know a joy that passes all understanding. That’s nirvana where you no longer think about that visa you applied for but trust wholeheartedly in Buhari to deliver Nigeria into a state of bliss.

Charles: I’M HOME.

EUREKA!!!

Desmond: I’m happy you’re gradually seeing the light. Just keep your eyes fixed on that shiny spot.

Charles: I BELIEVE

I’m a new Buharian. I’m proud to be one. I will shout this to the ends of the earth.

Are there manuals I can read, so that I can grow more as a baby Buharian?

Evans: Start watching NTA. Recommended for beginners.

Charles: OK sir. I would appreciate more suggestions.

Someone told me I should listen regularly to one Prophet Lai. Hope it won’t be too much for me sir?

Please I don’t want to get “light” constipation o.

Fidelis: Yeeeeessssssss!

My brothers have seen the light!

I’ve been saying this for too long.

I kept the faith! Now I have brethren in the faith.

Someone that is over 70 (perfection X 10) – for those that understand the language of the spirit, came to sacrifice his retirement period for the survival of our fatherland. He’s not only president but also minister of petroleum. Double honour!

When he was terribly sick, where others would have resigned and given up, he kept the faith in himself and came back continue the rescue mission.

Completing the projects of previous administrations. That is, places where he couldn’t be alpha, he ensured he was omega.

How many people can boast of that?

Evans: No one, Mai bródà

Fidelis: The greatest achievement is that now our place in the committee of nations has been elevated. The whole of Africa, using our road map to fight corruption in their countries.

We’re the pacesetters.

We’re the trailblazers.

A country set upon a hill that can never be hidden.

I leave you all with the greatest song of victory and doggedness!

Sai Baba! Sai Buhari! 🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾

Evans: 🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽

G.O.: It is well with your souls🤷🏽‍♂

Brethren, close your eyes in deep sleep tonight for you have beholden the wonders that true light shows. May these newly found lights of yours never grow dim. #ItIsWell

Epilogue: Whereas the interaction above seems like a drama script. It was totally unplanned. A group of persons were discussing the state of politics in Nigeria and one response just led to another. Knowing that codeine has been banned in Nigeria, it is possible that the participants were victims of second-hand marijuana smoke.

Image Credit: auselt.com