The World As I See It
One of Nigeria’s contemporary bright minds, Ayo Sogunro, once wrote that “everything in Nigeria will kill you”. While one tries to take in the import of his statement, one hears something like “life is already hard; why make it simple”. The two quotes combined, paint a gloomy picture of a Nigeria that is designed to make things as difficult as possible for Nigerians. Sadly, this is a daily reality for many Nigerians. Continue reading “Undeserved Hoops”
“Before you ask, ‘where is the change they promised us’, you must first ask, ‘how far have I changed my ways’”.
These words were spoken by Nigeria’s President Muhammadu Buhari, as he launched “Change Begins with Me”, a campaign aimed at changing Nigerians. Continue reading “Change Begins with Buhari”
Caitlin Moran once wrote: “…the world will come at you with knives anyway. You don’t need to beat them to it”. Whereas it would seem counterintuitive that a people would choose to harm themselves, each day people in Rivers State make the foolish choice of harming themselves and the state they call their own. Rivers people keep complaining about marginalization by the federal government and the Hausa-Fulani hegemony. While some of the complaints are valid, a closer look would reveal that the real enemy lies within, not outside.
This is supposed to be a diatribe about a journey that went awry. It may as well stay true to my intention, or it may branch out into areas that I don’t know yet. I am composing this article on my phone, tapping gently on a screen, while my mind tries to avoid the nearby borders of grievous anger. Let me begin. Continue reading “More Than a Road Misadventure “
“You have freedom of speech before the speech, but I cannot guarantee freedom after the speech”. This sentence and different variants has been attributed to Uganda’s Idi Amin. Although one may not be certain if he actually said that, the sentence captures the attitude of many persons in a world that continues preaching the existence of free speech. Maybe free speech is real, or maybe it is a fantasy, and some speeches may just come with expensive price tags.
Most sane persons subscribe to the view that proper planning is an essential ingredient in the successful execution of any task. Hence, such persons ensure the existence of a functional “drawing board” where plans are made and refined. The antithesis of this view is the theory that says one does not need to plan in order to succeed. Unfortunately, this view underpins the actions of much of Nigeria’s bureaucracy, and has fittingly rewarded Nigeria with shame, mined in Nigeria, refined in Rio. Continue reading “From Rio with Shame”
With the exception of societies that thrive on depravity, many “normal” societies try to enforce some form of ethical codes. These societies do not only put behavioural rules for their people; they put in place environments that engender such desired behaviour. Coming to the Nigerian society, we mouth mantras about good behaviour, but then go to great lengths to create an environment where defrauding one another seems best for business. Continue reading “Losers and Fraudulent Nairas”
This is arguably the hottest topic in Nigeria right now. The only story that may compete with this, is the discovery that America is actually the “United States of Nigeria”. Although we would later get around to this discovery, for now, let’s leave Hillary Trump’s land, and focus on the meeting between Pastor Adeboye and the keypads of a Nigerian generation.
Contemporary dictionaries list “Paddington” as “a surname”, “a district of London”, and “a railway station” in London”. However, seeing that some dictionaries have given special privilege to Nigeria, by providing another definition for “bunkering”, consistent with the Nigerian reality, it is time to extend such special status to “Paddington” to reflect its Nigerianness.
Despite not being the largest mammals, humans are reputed for having the largest cerebral cortex to brain size ratio, and the least ratio of brain mass to body mass. The slushy mass of fluid and nerves provides humans with our greatest asset—the ability to outthink other living creatures. While some persons use this innate ability to “think out of the box” and creatively push the frontiers of thought, for some persons, even a one-inch-square box is too big a thinking space. Continue reading “Farmers’ Protection Force”
Jilomes 