Tag: Society

Change

Parenting and the Changing Face of Society

Jilomes

There is this common saying that “the more things change, the more they remain the same.” While I would agree that patterns, like multiples or parallel lines on a cartesian graph may repeat, effectively remaining the same, I wonder if there is truly a reality where things get worse, or the perception is just recency bias at work in our minds. But while my thinking may seem inconclusive, I still find a way to convince myself that with regards to raising children, things are not merely remaining the same.

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Change

Till Death Do Us Part, Or Not

Jilomes

“Make sure you don’t do court marriage. Girls of nowadays are terrible.”

This advice was given to me by an “aunty” in her early forties when I came home in 2018 to present my intended bride to my people. Here was a young guy seeking to start a new life with his bride and being advised to start the marriage on a foundation of distrust. More worrisome is the fact that the adviser was not some aged “misogynistic male defender of the patriarchy”, but a “young woman”, which would make some persons say “if a woman is telling you to distrust women, then, she must have a good reason”.

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Randoms

A Love-Hate Relationship with Noise

Jilomes

In secondary school, we were told in Physics class that “noise is unwanted sound”. While we half-heartedly memorised this definition and other physical concepts of sound like loudness, frequency, and quality, we may not have considered the philosophical side of noise. It now appears to me that properly describing noise could present the same quagmire like terrorism, where one’s freedom fighter is another person’s terrorist. But if that analogy is considered too extreme, we may make do with viewing noise as one’s food being another person’s poison.

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Change

Of Christmas and Battlesome Reflections

Jilomes

The Christmas Season is upon us. Whether you celebrate it or not, the season is one that surely makes a mark on the greatest number of persons on earth, cutting across all countries. Some might see it as just another overblown, commercialised holiday, or argue that it was appropriated from a pagan festival, hence, should be ignored or re-appropriated. But for us, it is a season to reflect on life, the gift of sacrifice, and gratitude for our lives’ journeys and the privileges bestowed on us. So, let me start by wishing you a truly Merry Christmas!

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Change, Randoms

A Game of Russian Roulette called Parenting

Jilomes

If you have any links to Nigeria, you may have heard of the latest travesty involving some kids aged 10-13 (or 15?), or even watched a certain related video, which I have heard features esoteric sex styles that might give porn actors a run for their expertise. You may have also seen a video of a mother providing cover while her under-12 daughter steals a mall-goer’s handbag. If any of these make you lose hope in the next generation, remember that about a century ago, a bunch of Russians would place a single bullet in a revolver, roll the chamber, pull the trigger, and hope to live.

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Change, Inspiration

The Privilege Vs Responsibility Divide

Jilomes

“Privilege is when you think something is not a problem because it’s not a problem to you personally”

David Gaider

The headline quote for this article is one that I think requires some deep introspection. But even if you were to undertake the shallowest form of reflection, it is easy to see at least one area of privilege regardless of how badly you think you lost the proverbial birth lottery. For me, my mind is burdened as I try to draw a line between privilege and responsibility. Permit me to selflessly unload my burden on you.

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Randoms

Counting the Cost of Lagos Traffic

Jilomes

Having to catch a first flight out of Lagos, I had to hit the road by 5am to ensure I got to the airport in time to avoid hearing stories that touch the heart. As the cab driver got on the expressway, I could not help but notice that the roads were already busy at that time. While the driver and I discussed about the traffic situation, I thought about my experience spending unnecessary time commuting to and from work. Luckily, I do not need to leave for work at 5am each day; however, for many Lagosians, leaving after 5am increases their odds of getting to work late.  

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Randoms

When Privilege Comes Knocking

Jilomes

“Count your blessings, name them one by one;
And it will surprise you what the Lord has done”

The quote above is from a popular Christian hymn, “Count Your Blessings” by Johnson Oatman Jnr, however, fear not; this is not a proselytising article. The hymn just kept ringing in my head as I picked up my laptop to compose this article. I’m typing this article at the twilight of Good Friday 2019, influenced by four key events from the receding week.

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Change, Inspiration

Still Washing Pigs

Jilomes

After reading my last article on issues affecting Port Harcourt, a certain friend of mine called me to discuss the main ideas in the article. In a one hour-plus WhatsApp call, this Nigerian “externally displaced” in the United States, made the point that my article was trying to solve a problem by complaining about the symptoms. Whereas I did not necessarily agree with his entire viewpoint, a key idea stood out—his application of Jesus’ Parable of the Prodigal Son to events in Nigeria and Africa. Continue reading “Still Washing Pigs” →

Change, Randoms, Travelling

Much Ado About Seat Belts

Jilomes

I have had this article on my mind for a while but I just never came around to composing my thoughts until now. In checking for a quote to launch this article, I came across one attributed to Plato, which I think captures my aim for this article.

“No law or ordinance is mightier than understanding”

— Plato Continue reading “Much Ado About Seat Belts” →