Tag: Muhammadu Buhari

Metele: A Fork in History?

Metele: A Fork in History?

It is no longer news that Nigeria got screwed in the week of 18 November 2018. This article was triggered by a grievous tweet. My country just lost over 100 trained soldiers in one week. That’s enough to upset me.

Continue reading “Metele: A Fork in History?”

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Kemi Adeosun: Beyond a Resignation

Kemi Adeosun: Beyond a Resignation

It is no longer news that Mrs Folakemi Adeosun is no longer the Nigerian Minister of Finance. If like Jesus on the way to Emmaus, you are unaware of the events surrounding her exit, you might want to read the Premium Times (PT) article that set off the stack of dominoes. While Nigerians continue discussing her exit, amidst insinuations that the announcement was timed to obfuscate President Buhari’s latest SSS appointment, my view is that her resignation should not be an end in itself but rather, the start of a reflective process.  Continue reading “Kemi Adeosun: Beyond a Resignation”

S for Sarcasm Unscripted

S for Sarcasm Unscripted

Prologue: The following is a redacted chat between some members of a certain WhatsApp group. The banter is around President Buhari’s candidacy in the 2019 election. I decided to turn the transcript into a blog post. Only members of that group can identify the participants. If the “S” in “Sarcasm” has not already informed you, please be aware the following conversation is intended for humour.

‪Amadi: We have decided not to work on ourselves, hence no single man of competence (integrity and character) to lead the country out of the abyss.

That’s why it is the same set of people that keep recycling.

Imagine Obasanjo of all people running helter-skelter to form alliance so that he’ll continue to gain relevance and call the shots. What does he want to improve by his protege that he could not have done during his 12-year reign?

Bobby: Don’t mind that man jare. We will shock him. We will vote for Buhari to continue to move the country forward.

Out of 200 million people, how can we not have one competent person that will seize power from those tyrants. Buhari at his old age managed to do so and all they do is criticize the poor man.

Charles: You sha won’t blind yourself with this “light” you’re always seeing.

Bobby: 😡😡😡😡Don’t spoil my post with your sarcasm.

I’m serious at the moment please.

Even after transforming Abuja into a mini-London with state-of-the-art train system, your religious and ethnic bias still blinds you to the fact that the old man means business.

You guys never cease to amaze me.

Desmond: Don’t mind these ungrateful Nigerians.

Bobby: It’s until he builds train to the moon you’ll agree he’s working abi?

Desmond: An old man who should be chilling with his great grandchildren brought himself forward to deliver this country out of the abyss, yet some unpatriotic rabble-rousers choose to malign his every move.

Bobby: I wonder o

Desmond: They don’t want to adulate the days of little beginnings😒

Evans: How come I never see these things? 🤔

Bobby: Ethnic and religious bias na

At least, Buhari is still trying. What did Obj do when he was there?

Desmond: As long as you now see, we can forgive you. Go and sin no more

Bobby: Obj is even worse. He did nothing for his hometown (Abeokuta) when he was there. At least Buhari is fighting for grazing land for his kinsmen.

Desmond: $16 billion and no single wire was bought by him.

Bobby: Abi o….

Desmond: We have to appreciate Buhari, the only incorruptible Messiah sent by God to rescue Nigeria from the fraudsters of the last 16 years. The only guy who had to borrow money to buy his presidential form.

Imagine the patriotism! He was willing to risk being in debt just because of his undying love for us. I feel like crying at this point. I’m just overwhelmed by this new enlightenment😥

Sai Buhari! Sai Baba forever…

Charles: I envy you guys with opened veils beholding the wonders of Buhari o

What must I do to be saved?

I really envy you guys

Desmond: Brother, believe in God and you shall make it. Believe in Buhari his chosen Messiah and Nigeria shall be established. Let go of your sinful ways and thoughts. Only behold the beauty that is the righteousness of Buhari.

Come and taste and see that Buhari is good.

Charles: No confession?

Like something to repeat after you?

Desmond: It’s not about repetition. It’s in you. Once you come into the manifestation of the light, you would know a joy that passes all understanding. That’s nirvana where you no longer think about that visa you applied for but trust wholeheartedly in Buhari to deliver Nigeria into a state of bliss.

Charles: I’M HOME.

EUREKA!!!

Desmond: I’m happy you’re gradually seeing the light. Just keep your eyes fixed on that shiny spot.

Charles: I BELIEVE

I’m a new Buharian. I’m proud to be one. I will shout this to the ends of the earth.

Are there manuals I can read, so that I can grow more as a baby Buharian?

Evans: Start watching NTA. Recommended for beginners.

Charles: OK sir. I would appreciate more suggestions.

Someone told me I should listen regularly to one Prophet Lai. Hope it won’t be too much for me sir?

Please I don’t want to get “light” constipation o.

Fidelis: Yeeeeessssssss!

My brothers have seen the light!

I’ve been saying this for too long.

I kept the faith! Now I have brethren in the faith.

Someone that is over 70 (perfection X 10) – for those that understand the language of the spirit, came to sacrifice his retirement period for the survival of our fatherland. He’s not only president but also minister of petroleum. Double honour!

When he was terribly sick, where others would have resigned and given up, he kept the faith in himself and came back continue the rescue mission.

Completing the projects of previous administrations. That is, places where he couldn’t be alpha, he ensured he was omega.

How many people can boast of that?

Evans: No one, Mai bródà

Fidelis: The greatest achievement is that now our place in the committee of nations has been elevated. The whole of Africa, using our road map to fight corruption in their countries.

We’re the pacesetters.

We’re the trailblazers.

A country set upon a hill that can never be hidden.

I leave you all with the greatest song of victory and doggedness!

Sai Baba! Sai Buhari! 🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾

Evans: 🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽

G.O.: It is well with your souls🤷🏽‍♂

Brethren, close your eyes in deep sleep tonight for you have beholden the wonders that true light shows. May these newly found lights of yours never grow dim. #ItIsWell

Epilogue: Whereas the interaction above seems like a drama script. It was totally unplanned. A group of persons were discussing the state of politics in Nigeria and one response just led to another. Knowing that codeine has been banned in Nigeria, it is possible that the participants were victims of second-hand marijuana smoke.

Image Credit: auselt.com

Ultra-Modern Deceptions

Ultra-Modern Deceptions

In Ursula K. Le Guin’s “The Dispossessed”, a discussion between Shevek and Bedap provides a backdrop to today’s article.

“Who do you think is lying to us?” Shevek demanded.
Placid, Bedap met his gaze. “Who, brother? Who but ourselves?”

A look at Bedap’s response betrays a truism about human behaviour. More times than not, we lie to ourselves, deceiving ourselves or gleefully accepting the lies others tell us. In a case of blissful self-delusion, we seem to find it easier to face false constructs instead of reality.  Continue reading “Ultra-Modern Deceptions”

A Tale of a Corrupt Saint

A Tale of a Corrupt Saint

What better quote to start this article than one by Vladimir Putin: “Those who fight corruption should be clean themselves.” In case you’re wondering if this was said by the famous (or infamous) Russian president, allow me to calm your nerves. Even I hoped this Putin is the Putin we love to hate, and alas he is the author of this starter quote. I think Putin preaching against corruption is like a beautiful oxymoron. That’s why this quote launches today’s article about Nigeria’s corrupt saint.  Continue reading “A Tale of a Corrupt Saint”

Celebrating 100 Days of Excuses

Celebrating 100 Days of Excuses

“Beware of the leaven of the Pharisees, which is hypocrisy … therefore all that they tell you, do and observe, but do not do according to their deeds; for they say things and do not do them.”

  • Jesus Christ (Luke 12:1 + Matthew 23:2)

In writing this article, I understand that some persons’ sensibilities would be offended; maybe a little more than some. Yet, I choose to write because we cannot continue to shy away from important issues that affect Nigeria’s existence. During the 2015 general elections campaign, the then General Muhammadu Buhari pledged to ban medical tourism by government officials. Today, we are celebrating 100 straight days of President Buhari’s sojourn in London, his second trip this year.  Continue reading “Celebrating 100 Days of Excuses”

RE: Two Years of Real Democracy

RE: Two Years of Real Democracy

On the 29th of May, as Nigerians celebrated “Democracy Day” and the midpoint of the Buhari-Osinbajo administration, I published an article using a selected metric to appraise their performance so far. As we have come to see in the last few years, Nigerians are generally passionate about the leaders they love or hate, and so my article attracted lots of offline reaction in some public chat groups and in personal chats I had with some persons. I have now chosen to do a public rejoinder to respond to some of the issues raised.  Continue reading “RE: Two Years of Real Democracy”