Who’s Teaching These Kids? [2]

Letting those kids back in was a decision I got to rue for the rest of the day. It seems they went to request for a double portion of the “spirit of naughtiness”. The next hour was filled with: “I want to wash my hands (yeah, #Ebola)”, “I want to pee”, “I want to poo”, “I want to mess (that’s the “real” word for “fart”)”. All these, just to get me confused and allow them to freely roam the house. They forgot that “before Abraham, Jesus was”. I was definitely once their age, and maybe did a prank or two back then.
So I applied the time proven strategy of divide-and-rule. Only one kid could leave the living room at any given time. That way, they couldn’t form a caucus at my back. Then, one inventive kid said she was going to faint. I just reminded her that there was enough water in the house to drench her with.
Next game—dancing and acting. The two girls started dancing with moves that resembled pole dances seen in movies. One of the little boys said “uncle, they are doing ashawo”. I was alarmed that a six-year old kid even knew the word “ashawo”. He couldn’t explain what the word meant but just repeated his statement. I started pondering upon the effects of unwholesome movies on a young mind. These kids are something else.
Next stop—the most annoying game of the day, involving the same two girls. They couldn’t think of any other “game” to play that didn’t involve raising their clothes to check each other’s underpants. “Show me your thing and I will show you my own”. Did I mention that the second girl is just three years old? Seriously, I think sex education would have to start a lot earlier. Kids are getting exposed to lots of nonsense. What happens when they play their “innocent” game in the presence of a paedophile or a slightly older kid who’s sexually active?
After bursting game after game, including a weird case of mascara application and reorganisation of the living room, I felt so relieved when I discovered that a Yoruba movie was being broadcast on TV. The kids immediately took to the movie, and saved me further stress.
Now I definitely know that child care isn’t an easy thing. It took me just one day of industrial training to confirm that. Thumbs up to all the mums, dads and nannies out there.

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