Honourable Madness

Gentlemen and Ladies, we present to you the Senate of the Federal Republic of Nigeria, styled after the ancient Roman Senate. However, in the spirit of modernization, we resolved to alter the Roman culture of having only illustrious citizens in the Senate. Hence, in order to have a Senate that is truly representative of the Nigerian population, we have assembled some of the best misfits, thugs and megalomaniacs. We have even added a few rapists to spice up proceedings, knowing that nothing beats violence on the floor of the hallowed red chamber.
I penned the opening paragraph for want of a better way to express the shame oozing out of the 8th Senate. By shame, I don’t mean the travails of Senate President Bukola Saraki. That one is filed under “needless political wars”. For the records, I respect the Senate. Despite being the retirement home of jobless former governors and ministers, and people unfit to govern a class of nine-year-olds, the Nigerian Senate has some decent members—decent with uncommon sense. However, in a country where violence begets reverential fear, the decent ones have better chance of being effective in a noisy motor park than in the Senate chamber.

Nigerians are used to emotional sittings in the National Assembly, where passions rise and clothes are ripped off. However, unlike the House of Representatives, the Senate has managed to avoid reaching the levels displayed in the green chamber. Now, with people like distinguished Senator Dino Melaye, the Senate may quickly overtake the House to reach new frontiers of buffoonery.

“I will beat you up, …impregnate you and nothing will happen”

“I go beat you, …give you belle and nothing go happen” 

If one hears the latter quote, one would take it to be the ranting of an incensed area boy, one whose affinity to civility is as strong as the affinity of rubber tyres to the sea floor. Such an “agbero” would likely be uneducated or semi-educated. When such a person gets the polish of formal education without the exorcism of uncivility, the former quote becomes a reality. The polished threat quoted above has been attributed to Sen. Dino Melaye.

In threatening Sen. Oluremi Tinubu, Melaye showed a part of him that has been hidden despite several prior accusations. Threatening to beat and rape a lady shows that he is not only capable of rape but may have raped at least one woman to be certain of his expertise in that crime. If he had stopped at the beating part, we could have assumed he was just another savage guy yet to undergo a much needed transformation to modern climes in order to control his hands. However, by adding the “impregnate you” part, he showed that it is not only his hands that are out of control. Some other body parts are still living in the dark ages.

For Dino Melaye to add “and nothing will happen”, shows the belief of some uncouth elites—that they are above the law. Apparently, the laws made by our lawmakers are not meant to have any effect whatsoever on them. Melaye has just told the world that the Nigerian justice system is impotent, while he is so potent as to forcefully impregnate a fifty-five-year-old woman who may have reached menopause. Nigerian judges and other paraphernalia of the blind-folded Ms. Justice should be weeping at this public insult.

Melaye’s threat attracts much condemnation because of the “threatee”. Remi Tinubu is the wife of APC leader, Bola Tinubu, who played an enormous role in the APC’s victory at the polls. I don’t think Bola Tinubu is a man whom Nigerians think would see his wife being assaulted and “nothing would happen”. However, if the great Tinubu’s wife could be threatened with assault and rape, what hope is there for the everyday Nigerian woman who has no potent bulwark? How many women have the “likes of Melaye” raped without any possibility of judicial redress? That’s a thought we need to consider.

This article began with a patriotic ridicule of the Senate. It is people like Melaye and those who vote against gender equality and the rights of children that open the doors for ridiculing of the Senate. No matter the divisions in the APC and the Senate, there should be some self-respect. If Senators don’t respect themselves, they should at least respect the constituents they claim to represent. As for Dino Melaye, my potentially wrong thinking is that his political career is about to end. If after threatening Tinubu’s wife, the acclaimed Jagaban cannot bring him down, then Jagaban had better retire to a house overlooking the Lagos Lagoon.

PS. I have not called Melaye a rapist. 

Image Credit: clashofclans.wikia.com

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