Just around two weeks ago, my birthday came around for the nth time in my short sojourn on earth. While looking forward to spending the day with my family, work had other plans as I would be on an early morning flight that day and work until late into the night. Work just said, “who birthday don epp”. While replying some birthday messages two days later, I would reflect on life and the struggle to balance different aspects of our lives with limited time.
In secondary school physics class, we had a practical aspect that involved balancing a flat ruler on a knife edge—well, not actually a knife, but a triangular prism. The idea was to locate the ruler’s centre of gravity, which was the only point at which a wholesome ruler would stay balanced on a knife edge. This point is usually at the centre of the ruler, except where the ruler had some inherent imbalances or had additional weights attached to it and would therefore balance at some other point.
Looking back, I would say that the physics concept of moments, which was demonstrated via those practical classes, mirrors life in many ways. In an ideal world, we would have a perfect balance of life; having enough time to spend with our loved ones, enough time to indulge in our hobbies, enough time for spiritual growth, enough time to learn new things, enough time to cook our own food and clean up ourselves, and enough money to fund everything we need (not want). But real life seems unwilling to play by our dreams as we routinely find time and money on opposite sides of the knife edge. Very few persons (maybe less than 1%) are lucky to have all the money they need with all the time to enjoy it. Most persons have to find their joy within the fast-paced bustle that Uncle Solo the Wise would tag as vanity.
Of course, you could say, “screw everything” and move to some rural area with scintillating fresh air, peace, quiet, and the melody of birds and frogs auditioning for your auditory pleasure. But doing that would likely mean reduced access to healthcare services, good schools for kids, electricity, and the ever present “what-ifs” that gnaw at many a soul. Or you could decide to take up a less paying job or run a small business in a city; staying within the noise, yet not consumed by it. You would likely have all the present time to share love with those you love, but maybe not enough funds for several things. And while your kids may love and relish your presence, you may have a child like a friend of mine who wishes his ever-present dad had taken better opportunities to provide more for them. You could choose to do the barest minimum at work to maximise time off work, but then, you must not begrudge others who exchange their time for work promotions or larger bonuses. Like some would say, “this life no balance”. Any option we take has its pros and cons, which we must accept as part of the package.
But if we choose to take the path that brings more coins at the price of time, then we should seek to make whatever time we have count for good. Unlike previous generations that unplugged whenever work took a parent or spouse away, we are fortunate to have technological solutions to help us stay somewhat connected and let our loved ones know that like Michael Jackson sang, they are not alone. I see the light on our older son’s face during our daily video calls, and how he announces at school that his daddy is back whenever I am home. I see my wife’s cheeks threaten to blow up with dimples redefining their contours on an AMOLED screen. Even the baby coos with excitement looking at this familiar face in the screen. And when I am home, small tasks like getting the older boy bathed and ready for school or dropping him off at school or taking him along to run errands become an essential bridge to communicate affection.
And for those of us with a better deal on the time—money continuum, let us show grace to those who have to be away. I usually tell my wife that even asides money, someone has to handle those jobs that take them away from their families. Someone has to be a soldier, someone needs to be on a ship to bring goods to us, someone needs to keep the electricity running for us to watch the TV or hear the pastor preach in church, someone needs to weld those pipelines to bring gas for us to cook beans. So, everyone cannot be home all the time, but we can all within the constraints posed by our lives make the best possible use of what we have. What did someone say about lemons and lemonade?
Image Credit: Tetiana Lazunova
Jilomes 